Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I was born on Father's Day morning in the Summer of Love
My biological father was never in my life..he came back from Vietnam, and in his hometown upon returning, was probably a very confused young man whom had returned from war, done drugs, seen death, and wanted nothing more than to forget and be comforted as a new Veteran of the United States military. Also he was now officially a man. Well long story short, he got two hometown women pregnant in the same week of his return to Louisville Kentucky in 1967. One was my mother, the other I know little about except why he stayed with her...my mom was kinda from the family on the wrong side of the tracks economically and socially. But more important, the other woman was Roman Catholic, and his family was mad enough that he had two women pregnant out of wedlock...but he dare not marry out of his family faith.

So I was born fatherless at 5:12 am on Sunday Father's Day June 16th in 1968. A half day later, my half sister (Karen I am told) was born to our father and his new Catholic wedded wife on June 17th 1968.
Due to the course of my life as it unfolded with my mom, I would not seek and find my father until I was 23 years old...that Summer I had managed to track his Kentucky family members down with AOL searching of his last name state by state. Finally a blood relative whom had received my email searching for my father led me to a phone number in Southern Texas. The rest is a pretty sad story I suppose....

I called in excitement that my journey to find my father had finally reached his conclusion. My father answered on the third ring, I knew it was my father on the line the moment I heard his voice over the phone. I explained whom I was, and who my mother was, and that I was so happy to have finally found him.
To which he replied, " Don't call here ever again. I know who you are, I have nothing to say to you. Don't call here ever again." And he hung up the phone receiver on my life. Forever.

I am telling everyone reading this blog this for an important reason.
Three hours ago, while doing an informational online search about my family history online - I discovered and have by now verified that my biological father is dead. Six months dead and gone.
This post was finished until I decided to add this section to the very beginning.

Rest in peace to all of my would be father figures.

Blessings to Joe Mattingly my biological father.
Blessings to Robert Hall my first step father for almost ten years,who is also now dead.
Blessings to Robert Vale my second step father for my teenage years, may your golden years be the best.

Thank you each for being in my life, in whatever way was possible.
I hope you each had happy lives while you were with us.

Please take a moment to enjoy this musical pause with my mom's favorite folk artist when I was young. God Bless you too Harry Chapin.

Everyday I am struck more and more by how Generation Next weilds the tools of their age so effortlessly. The musical piece is not intended to dazzle the musical senses, but to demonstrate how basic and purely the 2K generation separates itself from the old world. There is a line in the sand that many of us older kinfolk do not get. If you don't get it, then just release control of the reigns. This young man has a very positive energy about him. And is indicative of his end of the generational spectrum. He will only be turning ten or eleven as 2012 draws to a close. Take a moment to listen before you read. Be open to the new world .Shine with it.

In the words of John Lennon, "We all shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun..."
We all are stars.

On the first official 9 day of the countdown
I am dedicating this page to the nine muses.
I wrote these before I started the blog as a kind of invocation.
Hoping to bless and evoke the ancient powers of art and sorcery.

Calliope Haiku

I am haunted by the spirit of William Blake in my life. I have had three English teachers who always compared me to him ( more because we shared the Blake name, not in my opinion due to style of writing ). Also two astrologers over the years tried to tell me that I was William Blake in my past life. I don't know who would be more offended by that statement. I am sure ole Willie would have some conjecture about me being his future ghost. But he is the pen man of one of my all time favorite quotes. So blessings to the muses that guided W.B.

"I want, I want, I want..." - William Blake

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