The Brutal Truth About Drugs
What your Dealer can do for You
Advances in mind-altering drugs made it possible for a great number of these patients to be de-institutionalized - so they were able to go home and could live a more normal life! What a blessing to great numbers of psychiatric patients!
It is my opinion that the pendulum has recently swayed completely to the other side and medical professionals are prescribing mind altering drugs like anti-depressants, sleeping tablets and drugs like Ritalin much too frequently and easily!
When one sees statistics like over 6% of children under the age of 18 are taking one or more of these drugs, and that anti-depressants are being prescribed all the more frequently to children under the age of 5, and that anti-depressant drugs are ironically associated with an increased risk of suicide, one becomes worried in the extreme sense of the word.
SO How did I get out?
You will often hear that dealers only way out is to completely disappear. Well I did disappear but not before working with Cartel, different name, different game, but protection from street threats of my past.
The real question is how did I survive for years to follow until I was ready to be invisible.
I cannot take credit for this. I was sent an angel who, no matter how insane my life became, refused to give up on me. He saved my life, more than once
My Angels a Dude
Someone sent me an angel, I swear this is no lie
And get this, more shocking, my angel is a guy
He wears all black with really long hair
This is no hallucination, as he is always there
I had no idea, nor did he ever once mention
He just gently and silently gave me loving attention
It started to dawn on me months into my demise
He stood still beside me, to my constant surprise
Still that does not define an angel, to be of support
It was his unannounced arrivals, just as I would fall short
I fought the help, the love, the faith, mostly his trust
He would just not give up, I was never awful enough
Undeserving, I kept on my spiral down faster
Nothing but kaos, illness, fog and disaster
Still he would come check me everyday to ensure
My health and surroundings were safely secure
But mostly to remind me and show me on his own
No matter what, I was never going to be alone
I will be honest I could not trust his intentions
And confused, as I had nothing to offer but questions
His pure consistency I had never known
His sincerity for someone like me felt so alone
I never felt such anger yet I did not want this to end
Who would accept such an incapable and sickly friend
But here is the angel, the reason I know
His faith in my recovery and his words did show
Truth in his promise and every bit of his own trust
He lent to me as my belief was a must
His timing is spiritual in the order my days unfold
His gentleness unfamiliar in the realness of his hold
Every detail he had said does all come
And so miraculously where is he from
I live and breath today literally because of his love
He is something I now believe comes from up above
I could never repay his gifts of my
I can only share his hope, his love and continue to try.
This I do know
In my years following this behavior, seemingly unreal, I tried, and tried and tried and tried to forget, sit in denial. We all know, you may think you have, but I know I just can't run from truth. In knowing this, and finally accepting this, I was able to forgive myself. By being completely honest with myself.
By knowing, the woman I found was not the woman I remained to be. I know how lucky I am to be here and writing and healing from incidents and consequences of my choices.
Again, in truth, I am free, and in truth I am me.
Have a safe 24! Remember you are not alone, nor do you have to be. Ever again. Reach out.
It's a shame not everybody gets to live and some of us dye, the question is how?
Your worth the fight to live, please never forget that peace.