I was seeking to change my current path in life.
To the newly converting Buddhist, understanding is perhaps the most important thing to attain and true understanding takes time. When converting to Buddhism, we are talking about going on a very new type of path and living a new kind of lifestyle. For anyone of any religion this can be challenging, but for the Western person this presents some particularly unique changes in disposition and mindset.
For myself, Buddhism had several very attractive aspects. It had been around as a formal religion over 2,500 years, Buddhism has been a proven path for millions of practitioners. Also it was up to you to muster the understanding the transition into Buddhism is completely possible to do on your own as an individual; there is no reason at all that you cannot travel this path personally. Although certain aspects of becoming a Buddhist traditionally are done through group and community rituals, they are ceremonial and can be applied to the solitary devotion of one person just as easily. In theory at least.
" If you are sure that you wish to make Buddhism your religion, there are some things to consider upfront..." or so I was told by a close friend that had been a devout and confirmed Buddhist for several years that, " First, you should be familiar with the basic tenants of Buddhism such as karma, rebirth, Four Noble Truths, Eightfold Path, the Five Precepts, the Nembutsu, the Pure Land, and Amida Buddha. It is not necessary to accept all of these concepts in the beginning, but one should be willing to consider them. The Buddha never asked his disciples to believe something because he said it. He said that one needed to prove it true for oneself."
As I learned more, and explored the path of Buddhism more closely. I eventually came to the realization that I was not looking for a religion, but rather was looking for confirmation of my own inner beliefs. I had already come to many of the conclusions that were part of Buddhist teachings without ever having practiced the rites or taken the vows that were the very essence of modern Buddhism.
It was in learning of what are called the Fivefold Precepts that I realized I was more in harmony with my path that I had assumed. These five precepts are said to have the capacity to protect life and make our lives beautiful. They are not rules or commandments but are guidelines to wholesome and ethical living and truly witness our commitment to live an awakened life. And I was already aware of them naturally, and had been taking steps toward attaining their goals for some time prior.
It was through them that I realized I was more of a natural born pagan than an orthodox Buddhist.
I did not take life unnecessarily, but still ate meat.
I had learned the gifts of generosity, having once been a thief and now refrained consciously from any kind of stealing.
I was maturing and learning contentment, and was not prone to deviant kinds of lust or sexual misconduct.
I was very much used to being mindful of my words and speech. Having know the power of harmful words long ago in my life.
And today I am still learning the art of honest and mindful consumption. For I struggle with an addictive personality and am easily seduced by all kinds of substance abuse and use of intoxicants. Moderation is still a key to my happiness.
When I found out that these were not only natural concepts I had come to understand, but were part of the Buddhism as well. I suddenly had an epiphany. That I was walking my own path long before wishing to convert to Buddhism, which changed me on the deepest level.
Such that I no longer felt the need to convert to Buddhism or any religion any longer. Instead I felt closer to my higher power than ever before, and was content again to walk my own road less traveled. Seeking my own insights, my own personal destiny, and my own way toward the middle path of my own design. I had found my bliss, and it has been a powerful source of inspiration for my life ever since.
I do believe even the Buddha himself would approve.
When all has been a blessing, or is sacrificed or slain
How do you stop a train, from traveling its path?
Secured to mounted steel, as it barrels down the tracks
I could build another course, enabling you to switch
But would you decide to take it, because u want to live?
How can you save one, who doesn't want to save themselves?
And Love someone, who is nothing but a shell?
The pain goes deep and love is an abyss that is vast
I would stand steadfast in front, against all unholy wrath
In the darkness, there is a sweetness,
There is no sadness, there is no weakness,
Nervously, I know I need this...
You shut your mouth and hold your breath
To become that ghost, as I always have before
To let you love me and still love you as a man
My friendship's not some kind of contract
Nor encouragement tied to pressure
I'm just here to give freely, purest Love which can't be measured
To lighten pressures away, not adding escalations
Certainly not any kind of stress, which becomes frustration
Whatever makes it easier FOR you, I'll still BE what I am
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
In the darkness, there is a sweetness,
There is no sadness, there is no weakness,
Young again, among friends again
To walk in your steps with them
Nervously, I know I need this...
You kiss me now , ooh I need this...
You catch your death, oh I mean this...
What Could Be And What Has Been...
Well, is it dark enough, can you see me?
Do you want me, if can you reach me?
You shut your mouth and hold your breath
To become that ghost, as I always have before
To let you love me and still love you as a man
My friendship's not some kind of contract
Nor encouragement tied to pressure
I'm just here to give freely, purest Love which can't be measured
To lighten pressures away, not adding escalations
Certainly not any kind of stress, which becomes frustration
Whatever makes it easier FOR you, I'll still BE what I am
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
You kiss me now
ooh I need this...
You catch your death
oh I mean this...
What Could Be
And What Has Been...
Martyrdom is worth it, if a solution to the plan
That's how much I care, & I could not Love you more
But you're a guest in his domain, & Satan wants to settle scores
If I could battle the fight for you, you know I surely would
But it is not my war, & the hooks secured too good
It does not require death, to lose someone..instead
No essence, hollow & empty, from all that which makes you less
Feeding the demon, & suffocating the soul
Not realizing or caring, you're reaching HIS goal
Throwing all away, that's real pure & true
Devils jeers laughing, as you arrive right on cue
Sure he'll give you enough reach, to go get another fix
Delusional comforts of HIS home, where you'll remain but just Exist...
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
I once was Titanic moving slowly in a dream
Life was just so perfect, or so it to me seemed
With no bother in the world, feeling light & free
That was a Long time ago, yes ~ that kid was me
But then my life turned around, & seemed to change its course
The ship seemed to be riding, upon an untamed horse
Rocking here & there, the waters were so keen
I cant convey how hard I tried, to make it to the reef
But then I got quite tired, & could not struggle more
It would have been nice, had I made it to the shore
The people taken under, turned the icy waters pink
And I am now the iceberg, which helped my ship to sink
It doesn't calm me much, when waters swallowed down to kill
And I was just a dream, wanting to be fulfilled.....
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
You kiss me now
ooh I need this...
You catch your death
oh I mean this...
What Could Be
And What Has Been...
" You will never hear surf music again..." - Jimi Hendrix
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